Sep20

Welcome to The Positive Thinking Cafe

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Pat Palumbo

There is not much I enjoy as much as sitting and talking, sharing ideas, laughing and learning. Regardless if my company is my family, friends or new acquaintances I find I never lose interest in the possibility of conversation, the meeting of minds and the potential for growth. One of my goals is to meet as many people in the world as I possibly can!

Add coffee or a nice glass of wine and conversation just seems to get better! So welcome to my cafe, my kitchen table, my front stoop. Think of all the places that talk just seems to flow naturally. We don’t often get a chance to do that in person, but now is my chance to do it here. I have always said I wanted to have a cafe, but I only wanted to have it open when I felt like cooking, when I felt like socializing and welcoming friends new and old. I guess you could see the potential for failure for a cafe that is only open when the owner is in the mood. Thanks to the beauty of the internet – my cafe is now open just the way I imagined it!!

I like to consider myself a renaissance woman, someone who has lived life to the fullest and followed the path wherever it lead me. I have worked in advertising, public relations, development, consulting, in a florist shop, as a substitute teacher, as a marriage and family counselor, as the facilitator of a family program and as a licensed realtor. I have been involved in dance, theatre, volunteer work, philanthropy and fund raising. I am married and a mother of three who loves traveling, reading, writing, cooking, learning, shopping and aspiring. Every time I became curious about something I took the opportunity to see how it fit into my life. Some things were passing fancies, some became hobbies and some helped me discover exactly who I was meant to be.

In my heart I believe each and every experience was necessary to lead me to where I am today. When I look back I have very few regrets and when I look ahead I am filled with excitement and wonder. In those rare instances when I stand still I work hard to focus on the present, to be mindful of where I am and grateful to be experiencing the now. My now.

Join me on this adventure, sit with me at my cafe. We will share thoughts, dreams, aspirations and recipes. I want to share all the parts of my life, the trials and tribulations of what it means when we say “we are all only human”. Some joy, some laughter, some deep thoughts and some questioning. Welcome to my next adventure!! xo

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May13

Happy Mother’s Day!

Posted on May 13, 2012 by Pat Palumbo

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all who mother.
To those that give unconditional love, support, challenge and praise so that another soul can grow.
To those that know this is one of the hardest things you can do and choose to do it anyway, sometimes more than once.
To those that act as mother when they see the need .
To Fathers that mother, lend support and partnership to their children’s mother and who model by the way they treat their mother.
To the children that inspire us to be better mothers and make us believe that just by them being here the world is a better place.

Wishing you all a day filled with love, peace, joy, hope and the knowledge that every day you are changing the world.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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May11

Who Do I Think I Am?

Posted on May 11, 2012 by Pat Palumbo

Who Do I Think I Am?

From my earliest memories I remember my mother reprimanding with the words “Just who do you think you are??”. This was not her early attempt at introducing me to inner wisdom or prompting me to search for my own truth, this was a very pointed reminder to mind your place. There was a very strong message not to think you are special, better than anyone else or deserving of special treatment.

To a child who wore a pink tutu and a tiara around, who wanted a cage built for go go dancing so I could practice while wearing my white boots and who looked upon Barbie as a lifestyle coach rather than a doll this question was more of a challenge than a reprimand. I had a very strong opinion of who I was and exactly what I wanted to be doing. I also was blessed with a father who supported my vision and encouraged it in his own way, including building me small bench to dance on in lieu of a cage.

My Dad died when I was eleven. I lost not only my supporter but the one person who saw my vision and said go for it – the hell with anyone who doesn’t like it. My father had a lot of phrases that stick with me to this day, I hear them within me when I need them, when I need a voice to tell me that standing up for right – for yourself and others – is the only way to be. My sense of integrity, of being the announcer when the emperor is naked, is definitively connected to being the daughter of my father.

Some cool memories that have never faded include fishing and being allowed to bait the hook, going for drives, shopping for records and tools at EJ Korvettes, going to White Castle on Fordham Road where you were served at the car by waitresses on roller skates, hours of skee ball on City Island and parties in the yard overflowing with people and music. And birthdays – my birthday was always a huge celebration and often held in conjunction with the Labor Day BBQ (in hindsight that is probably why it was so huge, but I digress). One of my favorites was my eighth birthday in 1969 – an amazing example of how my Dad “got me”. The trip to Korvettes for that birthday included a purple tee shirt, purple tie dyed bell bottoms, a faux snakeskin fringe vest and the Crimson and Clover Album by Tommy James and the Shondells. This outfit and this music, paired up with my round purple tinted sunglasses (from the set where you could change the lens colors) made me feel like life just wasn’t going to get much cooler. If you can recall a purely blissful day in your life – for me this was one of them.

The store of these memories have stayed with me over the past thirty nine years – they have consoled me, bolstered me, protected me and have given me refuge. My mom dealt with a lot in her life that did not give her the capacity to be the cheerleader, the supporter or the fan. The message was clearly be responsible, be mature, don’t cause trouble and do as I say. My inability to toe this line was often met with the famous question “who do you think you are?”.

The many years between eleven and now held many fine accomplishments, achievements and goals met yet often the celebration included that tape that plays in your mind that only a mother can record. The doubts, the insecurities, the inability to take a stand and know that you earned it and deserved it. And always that question…..

The last few months have been ones of change and introspection for me and so much good and positive energy have come out of it. I feel as if I am in such a good place and surrounding myself with books, meditation, journaling and experiences has opened up my spirit beyond what I thought I was capable of. The most important result of this self work is that the other day, for the first time, I was able to firmly state that I know exactly who I am.

I am the sum of all I have experienced thus far, and it has all been a lesson to prepare me for who I am today. Every person, place and thing I have encountered on this journey was there for a purpose – at some points my spirit was ready to learn the lesson and at others it was not; therefore, those lessons continued. Each day is a new opportunity, a new choice and my choice is to be positive and forgiving. To be adventurous and bold. To be challenging to my self and gentle with others.

Mom & Dad thank you for my lessons. I was sent to be parented by you to become who I became. On May 12th I will remember the thirty ninth anniversary of my Dad’s passing with gratitude for all that he imparted to me in our time together, and for his spirit that has never left my side. On May 13th I will celebrate the memory of my mother as an example of someone who mothered to the best of her capacity and who gave me the gift at the end of her life of explaining it all and filling in all the missing words I had been waiting to hear. I also feel your spirit with me.

Who do I think I am? I am exactly who I was meant to be!

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Apr5

Looking For My Snark…..

Posted on April 5, 2012 by Pat Palumbo

Looking For My Snark…..

I have been informed by trusted friends that there is something missing from my blogs – something they feel is vital to me being me – snarkiness.

I agree with them but, much like Barry Manilow in the late seventies, I have been having trouble” tryin’ to get the feeling” of my inner black heart. Well, actually Barry was singing about losing the feeling for something else and I am pretty sure he can get a pill for that now – but back to me.

Perhaps part of the loss came from dedicating my website and blog to positive thinking – all of those heady thoughts about self enlightenment and growth really are important to me – but at times they run counter culture to dreaming of a reality show entitled “Did You Wear That On Purpose”. In wanting to offer a place that offered a shoulder, a forum and an environment of learning and acceptance perhaps I missed the fact that sometimes you also just want a place to ”let it all hang out”. Less white wine and chai tea and more stiff cosmos and espresso. Hey – I can do that!!

Perhaps I lwas reminded of something really important here – being a positive thinker, looking for the good and focusing on kindness, compassion and service doesn’t mean we are not still only human. I teach that to my family program all the time and yet seemed to have forgotten for a bit myself. Being “only human” is something to celebrate – we can strive to do good and still enjoy the life we are living. The complexity of humanness is what makes us interesting, diverse and fun.

In the spirit of being true to myself, being human and being very snarky I promise to cover more bases here. I promise to let just a little more hang out and to remember that no one likes someone who is about being all good all the time. If you only knew the depth of material this has just unleashed……

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Apr5

Thoughtful Thursday – The Fear of Success

Posted on April 5, 2012 by Pat Palumbo

Thoughtful Thursday – The Fear of Success

Sometimes we arrive at a crossroads in our lives where the need for change is so clear. This is not always for negative reasons, in fact often the path offered to us is a road to bigger and better things. So why is it scary, why do we find decisions hard to make and why sometimes to we freeze at this point until we get run over by oncoming traffic?

The fear of success is very real, and far more common than you might realize. It is much easier to maintain middle of the road than to work toward excellence. Excellence brings with it the need for a work ethic, clear goals and letting go of habits, beliefs and people that stand in the way of our success.

Success calls for us to do away with thoughts that are holding us back as well:

Who do you think you are?
You think you’re better than everyone else.
It’s selfish to spend so much time on yourself.
What about us?
Who is going to take care of us?
That’s a pipe dream.
You’ll never accomplish that.

Whether these thoughts are within us (messages passed along throughout childhood till the present) or the reaction of those around us it makes it very hard to move forward on the path to success. If we listen to these messages we hear that working toward our personal goals makes us selfish, egotistic, irresponsible and unrealistic. What we don’t take the time to think through is that those messages come from places or people that are invested in the status quo – a need for us not to change in order that who we are and what we do continues to provide for them or maintain their truth. Moving toward personal success requires us to take a risk that we may move away from ideas, actions and people that have been fixtures in our lives. They have helped us maintain the here and now, but if that is not our vision of success they may not be part of the future you are working toward. Part of moving forward on the road to personal success is to be grateful for all that has been and peacefully letting habits, thoughts and people go that are not supportive of your vision. The habits and thoughts will be replaced by positive actions and ideas that will enable you to achieve your goals, some of the people may choose to be supportive and move along the path with you – others will need to be respectfully remembered as those who were in your life at a certain point for a certain reason.

This process of getting over the fear of success may take a long time, in retrospect you might realize you have been allowing the fear to hold you back for quite awhile. When you are ready to move forward you need to take this steps:

Create your vision of what success means to you – personally, professionally, spiritually
Write down your goals and the pros and cons of each – cons being the thoughts, habits and people that you need to overcome to move forward
Create a plan for moving forward – do you need to take classes, network, find a mentor, read and research? How will you get started?
Create a vision page or book – physically in a notebook or online create a space where you put pictures, quotes and ideas of what components of your success look like to you

Be patient and be kind to yourself – but don’t let your fear continue to hold you back from the potential of what will be!!

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Mar12

John Lennon, New Orleans & A Sign

Posted on March 12, 2012 by Pat Palumbo

John Lennon, New Orleans & A Sign

You, you may say
I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

In a gallery in New Orleans I came across an art book of John Lennon’s time in New York, first on Bank Street in the West Village and then in 1973 to the Dakota. Sometime in New York City by Bob Gruen, John Lennon & Yoko Ono is an amazing, intimate collection of photos & recollections providing insight not only to the creative process but also to the life of John & Yoko as New Yorkers. As this beautifully packaged collector’s edition is now valued upward of $750.00 I was thrilled with the opportunity to be able to look through it and take it all in.

After spending time going through the photos and personal insights I went back to read the pages at the beginning of the book for more information, and came across the forward by John Lennon. I had to stop and read it a few more times, take a picture of it and call my husband over to witness this sign. In a gallery in New Orleans I found two of my mantras in a forward written by John Lennon: “I still believe in love and peace and positive thinking” and “we’re all human”.

Imagine – a moment of Jung’s theory of collective unconscious right there on Chartres Street! In that moment I felt understood, justified and convinced that it really is that simple. How we approach our lives and the people in it is entirely our choice and within our control. We can choose to see ourselves as a positive force regardless of the situations we find ourselves in. In addition, if we can remember throughout it all that we are all only human we can find understanding and forgiveness for others, and more importantly for ourselves.

A Gallery for Fine Photography 241 Chartres Street, New Orleans LA

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Mar10

7 Traits Of A Realtor Who Will Provide Quality Service

Posted on March 10, 2012 by Pat Palumbo

7 Traits Of A Realtor Who Will Provide Quality Service

One of the most important things about being a realtor is remembering that you are helping every customer and client realize a dream. Buyers, sellers, renters or investors — each one comes to me for assistance to turn a dream, wish or desire into reality. There are various times in a person’s life where they need a realtor – some are just starting out, some are downsizing. There are those that need us to help them move to the next big step and others who need us to help them when they are in a difficult financial situation. Some folks are relocating and some families are handling an estate. At whatever point they are at people seek a realtor they can trust.

A realtor needs to develop a skill set that not only gets the job done, but inspires confidence and dependability along the way. Seven qualities to look for when consulting a realtor include:

Listening Skills – Does your realtor listen when you are asking questions or expressing your opinion? Does your realtor respond to your needs and respect your input? Does your realtor provide time for you to ask for additional information along the way? Does your realtor ask you questions that show that he or she is truly understanding your situation?
Communication Plans – Has your realtor spoken with you about how you are most comfortable communicating? Have they asked if you prefer email or phone calls, what time of day is best for you and how often you would like to be contacted?
Knowledge of the Market – Has your realtor met with you to talk about the market your property is in or the market you are hoping to move into? Have they given you an overview of the market in terms of price, inventory, average days a property is on the market for, etc.?
Tactics & Strategies – Has your realtor outlined a plan of what needs to be done to best achieve your goals with actions that will implement that plan? Have they discussed pricing strategies or negotiation strategies with you? Have they discussed what financial information you might need to rent, or the pre-approval process for buyers? Have they asked you if you are a seller if you have your deed and if your property is free & clear? Have they asked if you require any referrals for professionals aside from a realtor that you will need to consult in the process of your real estate transaction?
Ethics - Did your realtor explain to you and have you sign a disclosure form making it clear who they represent in your real estate transaction? This is the law in New York State and the duty of a realtor to execute with every client and customer. Does your realtor only provide information to you regarding matters of real estate and make it clear that you must consult experts in each field (home inspection, plumbing, electricity etc, legal issues, tax issues) to have your questions answered properly? Does your realtor provide referrals to you of at least three professionals in each area for you to interview on your own?
Follow Up – Does your realtor respond to you in a timely manner? Does your realtor keep you up to date on submitted offers? Does your realtor provide you with options for you to consider throughout the process – whether buying, selling, renting or investing?
Getting the Job Done – Does your realtor give you confidence that they will assist you in achieving your goals? Do you feel that your realtor is invested in your success? Do you feel that your realtor is going above and beyond to provide you with information and service? Do you feel your realtor truly cares about your achieving your goals?

I never forget that when someone trusts me to be their realtor they are depending on me not only to help them achieve their real estate goals, but to assist them in realizing their hopes and dreams as well. I love what I do, I love that my job is a helping one and I pride myself on providing quality service to all of my clients and customers.

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Feb14

Valentine’s Shoes – One Of The Many Joys Of The Day!!

Posted on February 14, 2012 by Pat Palumbo

Valentine’s Shoes – One Of The Many Joys Of The Day!!

Valentine’s Day has always been one of my favorite holidays – I would rank it right after my birthday and right before Christmas. Long before boyfriends, flowers or feats involved to prove the depths of one’s love – I loved Valentine’s Day. My earliest memories include a Dad who brought home one of those huge cards with the lace and satin for my Mom, the largest Russell Stover heart and the smaller version for me (I am sure he bought my sister one, but I have blocked that part of this story out – it’s my blog!).

I loved picking out the assortment of Valentines for the class – the kind with one special one for the teacher included. I am sure they were mostly Barbie themed, with Batman, The Beatles and The Monkees thrown in depending on the year. Our class always had a Valentine’s Mailbox and in the later years of grade school I am sure it was primarily a vehicle for candy and finding out the class crushes. In my all girls high school the celebration continued in that there was a major emphasis on decorating and having class parties (yes, I picked the perfect school for me!).

I remember the first Valentine’s Day I spent with my husband. My then boyfriend walked through the door with a dozen pink roses and – wait for it – the largest pink satin heart filled with chocolates you could imagine. It was a sure sign that this one was a keeper! Not because of the beauty or the size of the gifts as much as the fact that without knowing about it he recreated my idealized childhood ideal of what it meant to have a Valentine.

Years have gone by and we have celebrated in the most extravagant ways, we have also sat with each other being sick, a few bouts of morning sickness thrown in, and then the amazing celebrations with our children. Most importantly over the years the celebration became more and more focused on the meaning of the day – a day to celebrate and honor love in all its many forms. With maturity you learn that love isn’t measured by the gift, but by the day in and day out of being there for each other. True love is so much bigger than two people – it’s opening your hearts to children, to family, to friends, to those in need. It is supporting your partner to be the person they dream of being, while being responsible to continue to grow and learn yourself.

And then, when all is said and done, it’s also about the shoes!! xoxoxo

Valentine's Shoes - Marc Jacobs

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Feb13

All Be Happy Coffee – Laughing Man With A Kick

Posted on February 13, 2012 by Pat Palumbo

All Be Happy Coffee – Laughing Man With A Kick

All Be Happy Coffee - Laughing Man + Godiva Liqueur + Brandy + Half & Half

“ If music be the food of love, play on…” Twelfth Night Act 1, scene 1, 1

Just in time for my favorite holiday – Valentine’s Day – I bring you some love in a cup! All Be Happy Coffee features the amazing combination of Laughing Man coffee, Godiva Chocolate Liqueur, Brandy and Half & Half. Add a dash of cinnamon to finish!

This delicious concoction is perfect as is – if you want to elevate it to a full blown dessert you can top it with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream. If you have a super sweet tooth - stir in a teaspoon of Laughing Man Hot Chocolate or sprinkle some on top.

All Be Happy Coffee is also a great pairing with Laughing Man Tiramisu! You might also like to try Laughing Man’s new line of chocolates - decadent & delicious with all of the fine qualities that make the coffee & tea so special – it is fairly traded and Rainforest Certified.

Once you have this recipe down use your imagination and try different liqueurs. You can also kick it up a notch higher by adding vodka – try Godiva’s new chocolate infused vodka!

Most importantly – Enjoy & All Be Happy!

All Be Happy Coffee

1 cup coffee

1 ounce Godiva Chocolate Liqueur

1 ounce brandy (or cognac)

Half & Half to taste

Dash of Cinnamon

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Jan22

Laughing Man Tiramisu – A True Triple Threat!

Posted on January 22, 2012 by Pat Palumbo

Laughing Man Tiramisu – A True Triple Threat!

Delicious coffee, chocolate and doing good – like its namesake this dessert is a true triple threat! This recipe takes the best of the creamy goodness of a traditional tiramisu and adds chocolate in a starring role. The combination of flavors truly sing and will have you and yours doing a dance of joy!

Ingredients:

3 eggs separated
Three tablespoons granulated sugar
Three tablespoons confectioners’ sugar
Three tablespoons Marsala wine
1 container Mascarpone cheese
60% Cacao bittersweet chocolate baking bar (I used Ghirardelli) chopped in a food processor
16 – 20 ladyfinger cookies
2 cups strong coffee ( Laughing Man’s Dukales’s Dream or Reserve Indonesia Flores work well, experiment with 184 or your favorite! )

1. In a double boiler whisk the egg yolks, granulated sugar and Marsala wine vigorously until it thickens into a white custard consistency. As soon as it thickens remove from heat as not to overcook*.

2. In a stand mixer at a high speed whisk the egg whites and confectioners’ sugar until stiff peaks begin to form.

3. In a large mixing bowl add the custard and ¾ of the chocolate to the mascarpone cheese, fold with a spatula by hand.

4. To the mascarpone mixture add the egg whites, fold with a spatula by hand.

5. Line 2 8” x 8” serving dishes or one large serving dish with ladyfinger cookies; add coffee to the cookies slowly allowing it to be absorbed, once the cookies are saturated stop.

6. Spread the mixture evenly over the cookies gently as not to break them.

7. Garnish the tiramisu with the remaining chocolate, refrigerate for at least two hours, overnight is best.

You can also make individual desserts in glasses or use the mixture as a cake or pastry filling.

To order Laughing Man products visit http://shop.livelaughingman.com/

*This egg custard is the base for Zabaglione. You can use it just like this or check out recipes that add cream, cinnamon, nutmeg, additional sugar, etc. This is delicious over fresh berries, even better over pound cake and fresh berries! Be creative!!

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Jan20

The Real Estate Therapist Is In!

Posted on January 20, 2012 by Pat Palumbo

The Real Estate Therapist Is In!

The Real Estate Therapist is in! I hold a Master’s Degree in Marriage & Family Therapy/Pastoral Counseling and I am an active Professional Member in the American Counseling Association. This background allows me to provide the highest level of professional support as clients are going through the various stressors that occur when buying or selling a home.
Another level of service, another way of helping, a unique asset in a realtor!

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