Facebook lends a whole new layer to seeing people’s behavior more clearly. The two that helped me see some relationships more clearly: people that can’t be supportive even when the only effort involved is to press one key, and lurkers that have nothing to say (or like) until they can be negative and argumentative. The out & out nasty, negative people are easy to delete – I just don’t choose to deal with that on a daily basis. The real life friends who do this in a public forum – that passive aggressive behavior is teaching me something about them, the relationship and ultimately me.
“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Maya Angelou
When this happens to you you have a few options:
- Have a face to face conversation (imagine that!), and express how you feel. It might clear the air and resolve a misunderstanding, or you may find out this passive aggressive behavior was their way of telling you they’ve moved on.
- Let’s face it, if a friend can’t make the effort of being happy for you or supportive when it just involves liking your page, or post, are they showing up in real life when you really need them? Actions speak louder than words – or posts!
- Could it be that they are just not into facebook? Some people have pages, but really don’t post or take a look very often. For those folks, it really isn’t about you!
- Often the posts that they are responding to, and the people that they are “liking”, will tell you everything you need to know about where their life is at right now. If you can see that, accept it and move on do so. If you want to express how you feel and see if you can make a positive change do that, but read Maya Angelou’s quote first and take it to heart.
- There is also the ego effect of seeing posts in a public forum – for some pages become less about sincerity and more about “look at me and what I want you to think of my life”. Posts and “likes” become another label or social strata to show others just how cool, hip, smart, successful or loved you are. In this case, it really isn’t about you – or if it is, it’s that you don’t represent the lifestyle they need to put forth.
It’s almost unbelievable that we are learning more about people who we are close to on a regular basis through social media, but perhaps facebook has taken over social interaction to such a large extent that it was inevitable. As with all things, you have a choice in how you want to recognize this and whether or not to address it.
Just keep in mind –